life, Self Esteem, Spiritual, success


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Have you ever felt like you were a misfit? Have you ever been in a situation where you have even been told that you are not the right fit? Do you stick out like a sore thumb in your social arena or family?  Have you ever felt or been made to feel like you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole? Well, you are not alone!

Often when we feel or have been made to feel like a misfit due to society’s standard or our associations, we think that we serve no real purpose or even worst are not valuable. Negative thoughts cascade through our minds and the will to break-free of the strongholds that disempower is nowhere in close proximity.  However, I dare to let you know that this is not true. You are very important! You are valuable! You were designed with a purpose in mind. In fact, your creator called and fashioned you to be royalty. You were formed to be holy and peculiar, to stand out and not be conformed to the standards and imaginations of this world. Don’t believe me?? Well, the manufacturers manual is filled with case studies of those who were considered to be misfit heroes.  Not only were they misfits but they were viewed as broken, barren, undone, unworthy, not good for anything, etc. But the beauty in these stories is that it did not end with them remaining in the state that they were viewed. Instead, like a butterfly, they were transformed from their seemingly ugly cocoon stage to a masterpiece of beauty.

Misfit heroes like David, Joseph, Moses, Jabez, Ruth, Rahab, and Jesus stories turned around. David who was deemed only good enough to attend to the sheep, yet in the end, he became the king of Israel. Joseph was hated by his own family, sold into slavery and imprisoned for being lied on. Yet in the end, he became second in command to the leader of Egypt. Moses had to be placed on a river in a basket, separated from his birth parents, and run away to the backside of the desert to save his life. Yet, in the end, his story turned around, and he became the deliverer of the nation of Israel. Jabez was named one who makes sorrowful as his mother gave birth to him in pain. Yet in the end after crying out to God, he was blessed, and his borders were enlarged. Ruth was an Edomite, an outcast, and had lost her husband. Yet in the end, her story shift from being an outcast and she married one of the wealthiest men. Rahab was the ultimate cast away as she was a harlot. She was looked down on because of choices that she had made,  and was often scorned and talked about by those in her hometown. Yet, in the end, her family was saved because of her, and it was through her lineage that the Savior came.   Jesus was born in a manager, he was looked upon as only a carpenter’s son and was questioned as to whether or not anything good come out of Israel. Yet in the end, he became the Savior of the world.

Today you may be faced with the challenge of not fitting in, but do not worry, you were born to stand out. Do not let the pressures of wanting to be a part of something causes you to conform and change who you are. You were born to be the best version of yourself. Go ahead and be the authentic you. Yes, you may be quirky, not educated, highly educated, slim, wonderfully plump, not popular, not wealthy, or whatever you may view as your downfall, but you are you. You are designed to prosper and to be successful. Take the limits off yourself. You story regardless of the trauma that you have endured has not ended. Your best is yet to come. Shine forth and be the authentic you that you have been called to be, that the world is waiting to see.

08/17/2017 Dr. R.A.

life, Self Esteem, Spiritual

Beautiful Scars

Image result for beautiful scars

You look at me but what do you see?

Pain,  ashes, fear, shame, mourning, regret, mistake,  failure, and lost identity

You assume that you have the 411 on me because of what you heard on the street

When I pass by, you blatantly stare disdainfully with the intent to intimidate

Sorry to inform you that your information has been outdated

As a matter of fact, it is ancient history

And to stay with the current then you need an upgrade and an update

You see the scars you see is only skin deep

And there are deeper dimensions lying beneath the surface

You think the scars have disfigured and completely deformed

But you cannot comprehend just how beautiful they truly are

As all these scars have been transformed

You see my pain has been enveloped in joy

My ashes has been exchanged for beauty

Strength has replaced fear, gladness has been traded for my mourning

I could go on and on but the credit does not belong to me

It belongs to a man that I met who showed me my true identity

It is His love that drew me out of the pit of despair and planted me firmly into His purpose for my life

He loved me through my bad and  my good and He keeps on loving me unconditionally

The thoughts He has for me did not change because of my past and neither will it because of my present or my future

When I showed Him my scars He was not ashamed and shifted my paradigm from being that way

He showed me that He also had some scars as He was beaten and nailed to a tree just for me

And so we laughed together as I discovered that we are both beautifully scared.


4/20/2017 Dr.R.A.


Daily Post, life, Self Esteem, Spiritual


Image result for a timely word may lessen stress

Often we think that we should say whatever we feel or whatever we want at any given point. However, I say although you have the ability to speak words should be spoken with caution. This is because words are one of the most powerful weapons that an individual possess. One word may have a profound impact on a person and shape the trajectory of their life. Words can be used as weapons of mass destruction or building tools. When uttered they can never be taken back. Instead, they live on in a person psyche, either propelling them or crippling them from progressing. Remember we live in a voice activated kingdom. As such, we should endeavor to speak a word so timely that it will lessen stress and heal and bless.

4.14.17 Dr.R.A.

via Daily Prompt: Timely

Daily Post, life, Self Esteem, Spiritual


Image result for unravel def

You unraveled the negative thoughts that I had tightly woven of myself

Thoughts solidified by the lies told by voices both internally and externally

Thoughts that left me constantly carrying the weight of  feelings of  defeat, unworthiness, regret and shame

You liberated me from defining myself by the wreckage of my past

My name is no longer, broken, shattered, forsaken, unlovable, wretched, undone, etc

You continue to unravel my true identity

I now walk in liberty because of the stripes that You bore for me and the fact that You hung on Calvary’s tree

I am forever grateful for the price that You paid for me

4/11/17 Dr.R.A.

via Daily Prompt: Unravel

love, Self Esteem, Spiritual

Love Cost


We are often of the persuasion that love does not cost anything. Because of this misconception we settle for less than what we deserve and truly sabotage our own dream and desires.

This settling causes us to live in a sphere less than our true potential. We allow ourselves to become options in the life of others. Their actions further cause us to devalue ourselves as ostensibly we have become fixtures that can be removed and put in place at their own convenience.  We then become stuck at the revolving door not seemingly able to enter another phase or exit the current scene.

We sacrifice our heart, time and the essence of our being for broken individuals because we believe that we have invested too much to walk away empty.  We try to cover our wounds with band-aids and gauzes, but the laceration is so deep that blood runs profusely, further depleting our lives. However, if we could get in a clandestine area for a minute and unmask we would realize that everything around us screams vehemently that there is a price to pay for dreams and desires.

Nature teaches us that in order for a seed to become anything then it has to fall into the earth and pay the price of death. For a baby to be born then conception has to take place, and the mother has to pay the price of housing that seed for a period of nine months. It is the same with obtaining an education, becoming employed and just about any facet of life. There is a price to pay.

God taught us that love costs… and the price is heavy… love costs life. As such, if we are to accept this love then we, in turn, have to pay the price. David stated emphatically “I will not offer God that which costs me nothing.” Grace isn’t cheap!!!  So then, why would we allow someone to get our love for free? Why do we not ensure that they pay the price, pay the price of responsibility and integrity? Why do we not let them know what our standards are and what it takes for them to be a part of our lives?  Are we too fearful of being alone that we settle for half of a man, and broken relationships, hoping against all hope that we will be rewarded eventually for our patience or investment?  Are we so desperate to receive a profit or to break even that we subject ourselves to being used and abused?

Look in the mirror … after all your sacrifice, do you like what you see?  Is it not the time to pay the price to be free?  Is it not the two that shall become one? Then why continue to be deceived about two halves making a whole?  Open your eyes…be true to yourself. You are more valuable than your experience, more than the things that you have been labeled. Stop devaluing yourself and putting yourself on the discount rack. Your shelf life is not expiring so don’t put yourself on markdown.  You are worth more… a lot more!!! YOU ARE WORTH MORE!!!! Pay the price…fall in love with you. Dare to love what you don’t like about yourself.  The persons that deserve to be a part of your life will be more than willing to take note of you, probe for your value and then pay the full cost.  Remember YOU ARE WORTH MORE…A LOT MORE!!!! 9/17/14

Naked and Not Ashamed, Self Esteem, Spiritual

Naked and Not Ashamed

Gen 2:25 “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

This verse is well known and is usually viewed solely from the perspective of a husband and wife relationship. I am in no wise saying that the context in which it was written and exegeted was not for that purpose, but I somehow want to expand the horizon to this text. I truly believe that for life to have any significant meaning, then it has to be defined in terms of relationships. I say this because even before a person is born into the world, they encounter some degree of intimate relationship. As the baby is being developed in the womb, a bond is formed (intimate relationship) between the mother and that child. Therefore, as it disembodies the cocoon of safety, it cries as it experience’s the separation from the intimacy to which it was familiar. As I examined this text, I could not help but wonder if this is the way the Creator had designed for us all to cohabitate on this sphere called earth.

Naked speaks to being void of natural covering, not being enclosed in a scabbard. Whereas, ashamed highlights an individual’s feeling of being embarrassed or guilty because of their actions, characteristics or associations. Could it be that God really wanted us to dwell together without being covered by the mask that we hide ourselves in when interacting with each other because if they saw who we really were (our weakness enveloped in strength) they would stamp us as a reject? Could it be that we are capable of seeing each other’s “weaknesses and flaws” and yet still love? Love in the truest form as defined in the book of Corinthians, so that intimacy could be developed and relationships formed and solidified. Could it be that because of fear we clothe our persona in shame? Ashamed of our past and present experience and situations that we lived through, that formed us into the beautiful person that we hide because of the need to self-preserve!

You may not have noticed, but I said LIVED THROUGH. Yes, you LIVED THROUGH it, and you are STILL ALIVE.  Yes, you may not be the typical soft-spoken individual or the embodiment of perfection personified. Yes, you have struggled and are still struggling with external and internal forces, but you are ALIVE.

You being alive simply means that you need to step into the liberty to which you have been called to walk in. Being naked and not ashamed. Not living and defining yourself by the perception of others or the perceptions that you have of yourself because they have been embedded in your psyche as a result of society’s culture…but rather living naked and not ashamed. The Bible says that there is, therefore, no condemnation to them that are walking in Christ who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit. This simple means that there is no need to be ashamed of your past or present as those things are molding you into who you are. You see the “spirit man” is the real you…the authentic you. Break the limitation off and begin to walk into the liberty to which you have been called.  Walking in chains and bandages is exhausting.  Take them off!! Break free from the cave of limitations and self-preservation. There is a range of climatic conditions to experience outside of the cave. It’s time to self-actualize. It’s time for freedom walk… it’s time to let the authentic you come forth. It’s time to be NAKED and NOT ASHAMED!!!


love, Self Esteem, Spiritual

You Really Are…LOVABLE!!!!

Discovering that you are loveable can be such an invigorating experience.

To say this might seem strange, but if we were all to be honest and remove the mask that we wear to hide ourselves…oops did I say that? I mean to “protect” ourselves we would realize that there is really nothing to hide from in the first place.

When we view ourselves as unlovable we tend to try and attach ourselves to people who are not really worth the person that we really are all because we feel inferior to them and believe that there is something about their “superiority” that will cause us to feel “normal”.

However, to get to the point where all inhibitions that we have about ourselves and the reasons we think we don’t really deserve the “fairy tale” kind of love can be such a relief.

It is like being removed from the connection of a ventilation machine. It is like coming off of life support and being able to breathe on your own for the first time. Yes, I must admit it is scary. Yes, the first time that you do it will almost take your breath away. Yes at times it will be difficult that you will feel like your respiratory system is going into shock and will collapse. But if you keep calm you will realize that you are actually able to do this.

Why are you able you may ask? Well for the simple reason that God has given you the ability to and that it is a natural phenomenon that He has designed you to do on your own. Who would have thought that you would be able to accomplish such a significant task on your own?

Yes the feeling is overwhelming and at times you will not be able to make sense of it, but it is a delightfully delicious sensation. It is good because for the first time you are not being muzzled, choked to death or being stifled by anything or anyone that you mistakenly thought was your source and from whom you used to absorb some form of identity to yourself.

For the first time you are able to inhale and exhale so deeply and it feels so good….

God did that for you. Yes, He caused you to be alone so that your negative thoughts about yourself could be transformed to positive thoughts. And so that you can be conformed truly into the image that He has designed you to be….a child of the King!!!! One that is loveable in all of your shape, form, size, character, personality, etc.

So now that you have discovered that you really are lovable… don’t ever let the vicissitudes of life tell you otherwise!!!. No matter how continuously, loud and consistent that scream maybe … don’t let it cause you to succumb to its force. Stand tall and strong, knowing who you are!!!


Knowing that you really are oh so very lovable!!!!!