Miles away and it’s beckoning
Try to ignore, but the pull is magnetic
Can’t refrain as it’s alluringly captivating
Surrendering I behold its beauty
Hues of pink and green seducingly appealing
The closer I get I’m enraptured by your scent
Totally bewitched I decide to perch and taste the sweetness of your fragrance.
1/31/17 Dr.R.A
In with the new and out with the old.
Let’s do a replacement.
Here’s to negative thoughts being transformed into positive ones.
A round of applause for good habits and excellent attitudes replacing ones that are less than desirable.
Let’s hear it for new goals and strategies for accomplishing the desired.
It’s really time to bring in the replacements.
After all, insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly expecting a different result.
1/30/2017 Dr.R.A.
We all like to consider ourselves as royalties. Often females are referred to as “Queen B”. I think I’ve heard it all as it pertains to royal connotations and I was about to be exposed to another episode.
I sat there and listened to them spar. She clearly was agitated with his mannerism. He seemingly wanted her to talk nonstop. However, I as the conversation progressed I heard him say “yes, you are a queen alright…the queen of mean.”I chuckled at his comment as I thought it was hilarious. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but wonder why he would say that to her. Was it because she spoke the truth so blatantly? Was it because she was not as coy as he was accustomed to?
She was not the least perturbed by his comment. Her face was just as pleasant as she continued to speak. From the angle I sat she was the epitome of gracefulness. His adjective clearly did not commensurate with her demeanor. It left me baffled and I journeyed on the query path.
“Excuse me, may I take your order?” Uuh, Yes, may I have a minute, I replied. It was now back to reality…
As beautiful it is to love and be loved people leave relationships for various reasons. Some of the typical reasons for ending a relationship are:
1) Changes in needs, goals, or values
2) Differences in what people want out of the relationship
3) Unmet expectations or personality issues
The above are all very valid reasons to end a relationship. However, today while having a conversation with an acquaintance I heard what I thought was a hilarious reason for breaking off a relationship. The reason had absolutely nothing to do with any of the above reasons. The reason could almost be classified as superstitious or rather bad mojo.
So what’s the reason? Ok here goes the story. Mr.R. stated that he recently started dating a lady who he went to high school with. Initially, his thoughts were that it would be a good match for him as they both had history and he has had a crush on her for the longest while. Physically she satisfied his attraction. As such he asked her on a date which was the beginning of the end.
On the first date while she was parallel parking she bumped into someone else’s vehicle. The person stated that they wanted $600 for the damaged that was caused. She called him (Mr. R.) on the phone and explained what had happened. He came to her rescue and explained that it was price gouging as the damaged could hardly be detected. An auto-body shop was nearby, and he decided to ask what would be the cost to fix the damage. The mechanic stated that it would cost between $200-$250, which proved his point regarding price gouging. The owner of the damaged car, however, insisted that he does not have the time to get the car fix as he was from out of state and wanted $600 for settlement. They all came to an agreement where he settled for $500 instead.
Being the kind gentleman that Mr.R. was, he decided to help in covering the cost of the damaged car. He did not have any cash on him as such he went to an ATM to withdraw funds. As that issue was resolved, they continued their date, and now it was time to go home. He arrived at his car only to see it about to be towed as the meter had expired. He explained to the driver that it was his car in which the driver stated that if he takes it away, it would cost $160 for him to have his vehicle returned, however, if he gave him $120 he would remove it from the truck and let him have it. He explained to the driver that he did not have any cash on his person, but if he allowed him to go to the ATM, he would give him the money. On his way to the ATM, he found $100 in his wallet and negotiated with the driver who gave him his car.
The second date took place in an area that was very exquisite as such the cost of the meal was very expensive. He did, however, enjoy the time spent and conversation had during dinner. After dinner he realized that he had lost his parking ticket as such, he would be required to pay the full price of for the time parked which amounted to $60. He stated that after he had paid the cost of the ticket, he turned to his date and said: “this is not going to work, as you are costing me too much and this only our second date.” I couldn’t help myself I burst out laughing. He went on to explain that he could only imagine what the next date would be like in terms of cost.
What is your reason for ending a relationship? What is your most “bizarre” reason for breaking it off?
1.25.17 Dr.R.A.
It is often said that whenever one is upset before they respond they should count to ten. But does counting to ten really works? It is a literal or figurative count to ten? How fast or how slow should that person count to ten? There is no real data as to how effective counting to ten is or if people really count. So I say instead of literally counting to ten just take a deep breath and ask yourself “will this matter five years from now?” If whatever you are annoyed, upset or blatantly angry about will not matter in the future then just walk away.
1.25.17 Dr.R.A.
At times life can seem like everything is going against you. Everything is seemingly falling apart no matter how hard you try to keep it together. It’s like holding sand in the palm of your hand and watching the grains slip through your finger, regardless of your effort to hang on to them. In fact, sometimes you may even wonder if you have been cursed like Sisyphus, as life seems to be a constant uphill climb. For those not familiar with Sisyphus, he was a king who was punished for deceitfulness by pushing a stone uphill. The issue with pushing a boulder up a hill is that whenever it reaches the top, it would roll down and he would constantly be doing the same thing. These circumstances only lead to frustration which results in you feeling like you are the only one that has to undergo what you are going through. However, I come to remind you that you are not and that everything is going to be ok.
Maybe you did not hear me so I will repeat:
There was a man in the Bible called Jacob. He was not known for doing everything right. As a matter of fact, his name described his nature – trickster, deceiver. There was a point in his life where he also felt like everything thing was going against him. Genesis 42: 36 states “Jacob exclaimed, “You are robbing me of my children! Joseph is gone! Simeon is gone! And now you want to take Benjamin, too. Everything is going against me!” At this stage in his life, he was old and had lost the love of his life. In addition to losing his love, he lost his favorite child. As if that was not enough he was in need of food as they were experiencing famine in the land. In an effort to survive by acquiring food in a country nearby he lost another son and the only way he could get back that son was to send the only child that the love of his life left behind. This was evidently more than Jacob could bear. He expressed in his anguish that “everything was going against him.” Little did he know, however, that it was a setup. It was a setup for him to be blessed beyond his expectation. Long story short – he was able to die of a good old age happy seeing all his children and even pronouncing a blessing on both his children and grandchildren.
Just like Jacob, you may feel currently that everything is going against you. Nevertheless, I am here to declare to you that it is only a setup for you to be blessed beyond what you could ever ask or think. As Henry Ford says, the “airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” It is time for you to take off! The runway has been cleared, and all the setbacks were just fuel for your great launch. Get yourself together! Stop crying over what was lost! Stop pinning over what was stolen! Pick yourself up! You have been released for takeoff! This is your moment to shine! Your worst days are behind you and your best days are before! Step into your season! It is your time to FLY!!
1.25.17 Dr.R.A.
Like characters in a fairytale, some of us are trapped in castles/ kingdoms waiting to be rescued. From day to day we sit at the window and daydream of the one who will be brave enough to climb over hills so steep and through valleys so low to set us free. We muse about the one being so courageous that no adverse atmospheric condition would be able to detour. As we fantasize we become satisfied with our imaginations and retreat further inside these castle walls and wait for another day to repeat the cycle.
The issue, however, is that unlike those fairytale characters we are the ones who build those castles/kingdoms. We build castle/kingdoms of pride, doubt, unbelief, fear, hatred, malice, insecurities, unforgiveness, etc. around our lives. Only leaving a tiny window out of reach to glance on the outer world. Hoping that someone having conquered all the elements will be able to climb these high walls to the tiny opening where we sit awaiting salvation. We dedicate years of life experiences to lay a foundation and build walls so thick like the walls of Jericho in an effort to self-preserve. Only to find that our method of preservation has imprisoned us instead. While we wait, we become disappointed because unfortunately, however, no one comes to the rescue or will come to set us free.
What? Yes, no one will come. I say no one will come because what we are looking for is within us. We are the ones that need to tear the bricks of these castle/kingdoms down brick by brick. We are the ones who knows the precise experience that formed a brick and instead of using the brick to build pathways we build walls – walls that hinder and imprison. These castles/kingdoms must come down in order to live purposefully and fulfill our destiny. Destiny cannot be fulfilled behind bars. Yes, like Joseph the experiences may have happened so quickly that we feel like we have been thrown into a pit and then into prisons without reasonable cause.Nonetheless, his story did not end there. His story ended with him fulfilling his destiny as a ruler over Egypt (sin). Our destiny also is to be a ruler over sin. Therefore these prison walls must come down. How? Go to God in prayer.
Our prayer should be more of you (God) and less of me, make me who I’m meant to be. Expose all the experiences that formed brick for walls instead of pavement to Him. He can give us the power to demolish these castles/kingdoms. All we need in this life is God as He is everything. So surrender all to Him and watch Him order our steps to the greatness He has in mind (the expected end). Surrender and free yourself from being trapped in castles.
1.24.17 Dr.R.A.
Sometimes the vicissitudes of life can weather our faith and obliviate our hope. Leaving us groping around wearing mask trying to hide all the pain and brokenness inside. We have become experts of wearing a frown upside down so no one can detect the numbness that ricochets through our inner being. Quick glances and brief greetings enable us to maintain our facade.However, if we were confronted with a stare then the glass would shatter exposing our inward fragility. The warmth of a genuine smile and the comfort of a hug would automatically disarm our defense. Such simple acts of kindness would remind us of care and prove that there is still hope.
Sometimes the value of hope is overlooked. However, it is very vital as it anchors even faith. The Bible says that “faith is the substance of things hoped for” this simple means that hope is the root of faith. Hope causes us to have an expectation. It is the substance (expected end) of that which we have faith.
We often get discouraged from hoping because our view of hope is often twisted. We often view hope as a process. Therefore, when it does not work as we thought we give up hope. However, I came to realign your thoughts by letting you know that hope is not a process. Hope is an expected end. As such, do not tranquilize your hope with maybe.When the process is not going as we think it should be we say ‘well maybe it is not meant to be,’ “maybe it is really not for me,” “maybe the time is not yet.” All plausible excuses I might add, as the process can cause you to become despondent. However, do not, I repeat DO NOT pacify your hope and move it from the expected end to where you are. Instead, I implore you to rehearse the promises in your mind. If that is not enough, then write it on a post-it. Put it in your house, job, car, etc. Keep it alive because it shall come to pass.
Yes, you are weary from all the ebbs. As a matter of fact, it could be said that you are downright sick and ready to puke. Yes the prevailing situating don’t look like anything good will ever happen…yes, you have toiled all night and you are weary. Nonetheless, hope. Hope again as your expectation is necessary to give birth to the miracle that is hidden deep within your emotions. Hope again and begin to write. Write the vision!!! Make it plain….though it tarry…it will speak and NOT lie!!. It is getting ready to happen!!! A covenant (the expected end)has already been made!!!! Hope again!!! Hope changes everything, so HOPE AGAIN!!
1/22/17 Dr. R.A.
It is often said that life is ten percent of what happens to us and 90 percent of how we react to what happened. I believe this is true, as we have total control or rather should have complete control over our own attitude. Whatever we allow to sway our attitude is that which we have given power over our being. As such possessing the right attitude in right or wrong situations is within our control.
As we walk this journey called life, we will be faced with various situations. Situations where we feel incredibly cheated and feel the need to rectify. However, in these moments we should always rely on God to justify whatever we have experienced.
We all have heard about the notorious thief of the Bible Jacob. He had been so skilled in his craft that he had to leave home to live with his uncle because his brother wanted to kill him. While he was living with his uncle, he got to experience a dose of his own medicine. The only issue was that what he had supplied and that which he received was magnified. Nevertheless, because he was in a strange land and living somewhat at the mercy of his uncle, he maintained a right attitude. This “right” disposition allowed him to be blessed by God that both himself everyone around him could acknowledge.
He was thoroughly comfortable where he was basking in the blessings of the Lord until his eyes were opened and He was able to perceive his uncle’s attitude towards him. In Genesis 31:2 the Bible let us know that “And Jacob began to notice a change in Laban’s attitude towards him.” It is quite ironic that while Jacob was “living at the mercy” of Laban and “slaving away” that Laban had no issue with Jacob. As a matter of fact when Jacob finally asked Laban for wages after working for him for years without wages, he changed his wages ten times. During this experience of being cheated knowingly, Jacob displayed the right attitude and Laban had no issue with Jacob. Until he recognized that Jacob was being blessed no matter his devices employed to cheat Jacob. His aim was to keep Jacob down. But as soon as Jacob’s blessings could no longer be hidden Laban had a problem. His attitude towards Jacob changed. However, what is important is that Jacob was able to perceive Laban’s change in attitude towards him and remained with the right attitude. He did not try to justify all he encountered. Instead, he depended on God who he had covenanted with to guide.
This I believe is very prominent even among believers, as whenever someone that we know was an “underdog” suddenly rises to the top our attitude towards them changes. Especially if we believe that they have become more accomplished. I say check your ATTITUDE!! Maybe the reason you are not more blessed is because of the attitude that you possess. STOP trying to keep others down. STOP using your power to try and keep them under your thumb, so that you can manipulate their every move because they are dependent on you.
Also for the “underdogs,” I say CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE!! Ensure that through your process of being “beneath” you possess and display the right behavior. If you do the in God’s time, you will be elevated. Remember, if you humble yourself then you will be exalted.
Lord, I pray that from this day forward we, your people will begin to possess and display the right attitude no matter the situations that we face. I also pray that the spirit of patience will saturate our beings and our faith in you will solidify, knowing that you are in control of our lives.
01/18/17 Dr. R.A.
You pull me in, you push me out
We climb to the peak, but no sooner we slide to the bottom
This roller coaster ride is too much to bear
Yet my mind wonders about you whenever you are not near
How did I get caught up on this guinea pig wheel?
This is quite a conundrum!
I know initially your intent was to keep me fit and healthy
But unfortunately, you proved to be very dangerous
Causing pain and permanent injury.
I wear the scar as a reminder of why I should stay away
Yet you turn up again and pull me near.
Dr.R.A. 1.17/17
Issues from the Heart 